A stolen kiss here. A silent coupling there. And a repressed acknowledgement that every single time might very well be our last time. We're both moving, filled with wanderlust. And we know we're not heading to the same place.Saudade.That's what I think as I hold the gossamer paper in my hands. I learned that word when I lived in Portugal with another girl. Someone long gone. Someone Isabel can't stop asking about.That word is about a pain so deep it can't be isolated. Or healed. A thirst that can't be slaked. A nostalgic longing for a love who isn't there. And I think about what saudade really means: it's a longing for a love that might never return. "Saudade," I say. "It's Portuguese for missing someone." That translation was close enough. Izzy has no patience for extra information. Or subtlety. One sentence too many and she goes off into another place."I don't know the word for being devastated and incredibly happy at the same time. What part are you feeling right now?" Both," she. A few minutes later, with everything taken inside and the dishes done she decided to fuel the fire. “So you say Dad thinks I am quite hot?” “Yeah, he had that ‘look’ in his eyes when he said it,” and he smiled slyly. “But that would pose a problem,” he added. “Such as?” Laura led him on to elaborate. “Ok, let’s drop that,” he said after taking a long swallow of his beer, smiling. “Ok,” giggled Laura, also feeling a bit of a buzz after perhaps one too many, “Let’s drop that one.” She was puzzled by that. What could Dean have meant by ‘it creating problem?’ Was there more to what Dean and Dad discussed while in their ‘man cave’ at home? Those times when they have a few beers and swop stories and facts? Was there in those times also mention of the little redhead and perhaps others who had the pleasure of having that piece of meat Dean sported? What if they also discussed her… and perhaps Dean taking Jamey’s virginity. Laura could feel herself getting worked up, her anger being.
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